“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.”
– Walter Winchell
The world can be a rough place and the older we get the harder it is to find people who are like Thobi in Anathi A Lifeless Womb. The friend or friends who hold you down when life throws curve balls and pulls the proverbial rug from right under your feet.
You can count yourself lucky if you have one friend in your life who sees you like Thobi sees Anathi. I am so blessed that when I was writing Thobi, I had three friends to draw inspiration from.
The 3 Friends Who Inspired Thobi
Thobi was inspired by three friends in my life. I am going to tell you how these women have kept me sane.
Nada: The friend I didn’t see coming. Nada was on the periphery of my life, I met her through my husband, in fact, there is a running joke that she is STILL my husband’s friend and I am on loan.
Nada is the friend who can hold my mess! She gives me space to vent and helps me gather the pieces. She also knows how to dial me back, which is very important when you know just how far I can go in my head and victimhood paralysis.
She has and continues to be a necessary pillar in my life and I know she views me as one in her life because another thing we do well is: tell one another how much we love one another and how life is better because we are in one another’s lives.
Tumi : The big sister I never knew I needed. She is strength, the one who makes things happen and I don’t know when we decided but we did, we are family! Tumi will show up for me in ways that sometimes make me feel like “oh gosh this is a lot!”
She shows up for my mother in ways only a daughter can and there is no way you aren’t in love with a person who sees your mother! It is the cutest thing. Sometimes I feel like they are friends and again, I am the one on loan LOL!
And the one I can drive to at 4 am when I need to breathe, no questions asked.
Phumzile: the real-life sister who turned best friend for life. This girl God made for me, God knew this life would not work quite right without her in it. She is my literal heart and the quickest way to get me to hopelessly love you is by loving her.
She is one of the voices in my head, nevermind that she is my baby sister, she is wise beyond her years. The one who reminds me that the beat of my own drum is enough! She quietly holds my mess ALL THE TIME! She sings me back to life more times than I have cared to tell her.
She is also my laugh until my belly hurts, tears streaming and gasping for air friend! As I mentioned above, she is my heart and it is a bonus that she is blood.
What They All Have in Common
What they all have in common: LOVE! I don’t for one-second question their love for me. They all have my best interests at heart and it is so solid that I sometimes forget that this is not true for everyone. I do wish this for everyone though, seriously it makes life a little easier to have people who ride for you.
Women Love Hard
We live in a world that will have you believe that women don’t like each other, I call BS! I have just given a snapshot of three women in my life who would go through the fire with and for me.
And the best news is, they aren’t the only ones, they are the ones who inspired Thobi. But I have women in my life who take care of different parts of me and give me space to breathe.
Over to you: who is the Thobi in your life? Tag her, or them, in the comments section and she could stand a chance to win a signed copy of Anathi A Lifeless Womb as a thank you gift from you to her. Winner will be announced on September 30th 2020 at 2 pm. Open to South African residents.