We usually think of dating in a romantic setting, rarely do we think of dating our kids in the same light. But why not? When dating is one of the fun ways to get to know someone. Dating your kids will improve your family life, and I am here to share how it has improved mine.
Dating your kid when it is just one
Here is a bit of a back story, when I only had one child, the dating your kid idea was a lot easier. Introduce a new family member and it feels like there aren’t enough hours in a day and so dating my firstborn fell off.
A few months ago, I wrote a post Signs Your First Child Feels Forgotten And How To Fix It. This post came about when I realised this was what was happening in my own house. And so, I got to work and I guess this post is an update.
Before Dating Your Kids- It’s Utter Chaos!
You know the universal mama question, “where will I find the time?” sound familiar? This was me too. The idea of carving out time when, as a mom, you are already so time-starved is ludicrous. But, I am here to tell you it is necessary if you want a harmonious home.
It is like a catch 22 situation: the kids are wild because they want your time, you want them to stop being wild so you don’t spend so much of your time playing referee. And the hamster wheel keeps turning until something gives.
Before the dates, these boys were driving me up the wall! Every request was met with a whine, the fighting was relentless and over silly things. They both loved to talk to me at the same time and that life makes your head spin.
How dating each kid has helped
I do want to acknowledge it can be hard to make these dates happen, especially if you are a single mom or a full-time working mom. That said, dates don’t have to take long, just enough to truly connect.
Dating your kids individually reminds each of them of how special they are to you. For your first child, this time together reassures him of his place in your life. And for the little one, it is time to figure out what he likes without the older sibling’s influence, it gives the little one agency.
Reassurance and agency topped with being seen and heard fill each child’s love tank. They no longer have to find creative and annoying ways to compete for your affection and attention.
Also, they listen better. We are not all the way there but my word, it is world’s better.
More benefits to dating your Kids
- Increases confidence: Children who are loved intentionally learn that they matter and belong and this skyrockets their confidence. Here are 13 other ways you can raise their confidence.
- Creates a more patient and gentle relationship with their sibling(s). Your kids have no real need to defend their positions in your life.
- It strengthens the connection. One on one dates give your child the opportunity to tell you things they can’t share at home with other family members around.
- You get to learn more about your child, and what beats that?
- Dating your kids is fun!
Here are a few date ideas for you and your kids
- Roller blading/skating. We have been to Roll Egoli and loved it!
- Ice Cream& Cookie date- Try Crumbs & Cream for this date.
- Go see your kids favourite movie
- Make “I love you” cards for members of the family. This will bring good feels to the home.
- Go on a walk
- Join a class together, cooking, dancing etc. Make sure to ask if there are any trial classes on offer and take that first before you sign up for something that will feel like more of a chore than fun.
- Take your child out to a fine dining experience. Extra points for getting dolled up!
- Read a book together, at the same time or separately and then have book club dates.
- Have your child teach you how to play his favourite game.
- A picnic with all food in their favourite colour (good luck with this one)
- Visit their favourite store
- Go to the library or a book store and have the kid choose a few books
- Play card games
- Have cuddle time, this works with the older kids too.
Conclusion on dating your kids
It is absolutely necessary to date them. It is crucial for their emotional well being. It doesn’t have to be every week but at least once a month. It is important to schedule these dates because in our busy lives it is easy to keep postponing. Remember it is vital to honor your date and not drop them because a girls’ or boys’ night pops up.
For an improved family life, each family member needs to feel valued and sure of their position in the family. And just like date with your significant other keeps the fire burning,so do dates with kids keep their love tanks full. And look forward to a more peaceful life, you will still be tired. But now, you will be tired and at peace.
Did you find this helpful? Which date idea will you be trying?
The goal is to heal our families as we heal ourselves. If you feel a connection or know someone who feels a strong connection to a healed way of parenting, please share this post with them. Let us spread the news of healthier ways to parent.
As always, I wish you all the healing you deserve,
If you spot any typos or inaccuracies please drop me an email: [email protected] so I can correct mistakes. Thank you.