So you have taken the big step and decided you are ready to heal! But, what now? What is the first step after your first big leap?
It can feel exhilarating to finally make the decision. It can also be terrifying when you realise you have no idea what the first step is. You don’t know what you even need to heal. But you are ready to heal because your life is not reflecting what you dream about.
I have walked that path. And if you stay too long with no direction it is very easy to go back on your decision. Things like, “arg, what’s the point anyway?” Or, “I am actually fine, the healing will happen in its own time.” And a gazillion other compelling reasons the mind makes up to keep us from moving forward.
Well, my fellow healer, I am here to help curb the mind from discouraging. I aim to set you on a starting path.
The first thing you need to do when you have decided you are ready to heal
With anything you do in life, you need a starting point. To have a start point, you need a map. The same goes for when you are ready to heal. You need a map for your healing, and only you can design this map.
How do you do this?
You have to know your story. The very first order of business once you have decided you are ready to heal is to know your story.
Know your story
Your story is the roadmap to your healing. Knowing what goes on deep inside your mind and soul will help guide what you heal. We hold beliefs unknown to us. These beliefs are planted and nurtured in our childhood. These beliefs go unquestioned until we decide we are ready to heal.
When I decided I want to heal, I was not prepared for the things that came up. The stories I held about my life and how these stories were playing out in my daily life. One of my stories was about my father. The idea that he would come riding in and save the day for me, because this is what fathers do for their daughters, right?
This story kept tripping me up in romantic relationships. When I was ready to heal and started investigating my story, I realised the expectation I had of my father was transferred to the guys I dated. If this poor guy couldn’t save me and provide a safe space then I threw a tantrum and lamented he couldn’t possibly love me. (Ahh the joys of being young!)
Where do I find my story?
Okay, so where does this story that will help you live? You are ready to heal, I bet you have heard of the subconscious mind? If not, that’s fine you will know what it is after you read this.
What is the subconscious mind?
The subconscious mind is the part of our mind that makes acts, speaks and reacts without us needing to think about it. It is the automatic part of our mind. The part of the mind that will initially repel you from being ready to heal.
The subconscious is different from the conscious mind. The conscious mind is the part that is excited about healing or any new decision. At this level, you earnestly believe this time it is for real. But if you do not spend time rewiring your subconscious to get on the same wavelength, your resolve will dissolve.
Ready to heal?
Are you ready to mine your story and start healing? If you are ready to heal then this is what you can do next:
- Write down all your thoughts first thing in the morning.
Write down your thoughts
First thing when you wake up, grab a journal and a pen. Write down every single thing that comes to you without judgement. This exercise helps you see what thoughts keep playing on your subconscious mind. You can learn more about this form of knowing your story here.
Meditating is another great way to hear your thoughts and feelings going on the inside. Yes, at first it will be an unending chatterbox of thoughts whizzing in and out, this is okay. After some time and with practice you will be able to still your mind long enough to isolate your thoughts. Don’t be discouraged by the constant thoughts, you are ready to heal, not healed. I don’t even believe we ever fully heal, we get better at managing our triggers- just a side note. As you practice meditation, you will get better at it, so don’t give up.
Why must you know your story and get ready to heal
As mentioned above, your story is your roadmap. It is what gives you a start point. For example, when I realised my story about my father coming to save me. And realising I transferred the need to be saved by my boyfriends, helped me figure out I needed to heal my masculine energy.
I didn’t grow up with my father but like any little girl, this created a yearning for him. Add the messages about fathers being superheroes and you have yourself a little girl creating one epic hero story! It served me as a child to have this story, it kept the hurt feelings at bay. But as an adult, this story no longer served me and was instead creating strain in my relationships with men.
If I didn’t decide I was ready to heal. I would not have looked into the story driving my dissatisfactory relationships.
Remember to be kind
Embarking on this journey can be scary and the urge to judge yourself harshly is sky-high. It can be hard to look at your unhealed parts. You will feel all sorts of things and all are okay. Remember to be kind to yourself. When harsh judgement rears its head, remember that you did your very best at the time, with the information and awareness you had.
You know better now and are committed to doing better.
It can be intimidating to do the work to heal, even when you are ready to heal. This is why I am offering you a session to help you unpack your story and get you on your way to healing. The session is a free quick 20 minutes chat and questions to help you get to the root of the stories holding you back. You are welcome to secure your spot by clicking the know my story button below.
Please share this post with someone, who like you, is committed and ready to heal.
Thank you for taking the time to read. The mission is to heal our lives on a grand scale and I am so glad you are here.
Until next time, I wish you all of the healing you deserve.